Frustrated

Last night another "big" thing happened...something that shook my faith with the current company I'm working for. Well, I applied for a position on another account, some sort of a lateral transfer. It's a daytime account and all we just need to do is to email clients for business renewwal. It's like the same job I am currently holding, the only thing that has changed is the schedule. It offers 6am to 3pm shift with weekend rest days. I have already prepared all the necessary requirements for the transfer only to find out that our Senior Manager again, I repeat, again denied my application. She said theres a scarcity of people in our current program and if they would let me transfer to another program, they need to look for a replacement for me who is qualified for the position. I admit, I was really devastated. I've worked on my scorecard just to have this chance - in fact I've been a Rockstar last month and yet all the response I could get from her is that "we need to find for a replacement that would fill in your job". Well, I hate it! I know I have already asked God for guidance. I know it's already out of my hands but my first reaction of course is anger and frustration.

Though I really don't intend to stay long since I'm just waiting for my retirement on October, I still wish to try a different LOB before I leave. I want to maximize my stay, meet new friends, learn new stuff...but my manager already shut the door of opportunity for me. My previous superior talked to me earlier and even told me that if I am bitter with what happened, I should not let my colleagues get the negativity in me, else, I should already resign. If only I could, I would! But I still need to stay for another 5 months to get my retirement and I'm outta here! I wish I could tell them about my plans of resigning soon but I need to keep my cool and stick with my plans. I just want to vent out my angst though I know this negative feeling will be gone later. Anyways, I still love my work, it's just that I don't like the feeling of having to believe something that is really not feasible like asking for a lateral transfer. They should start telling their people that lateral transfers are just meant for people are not capable of doing anything so people won't waste their time sending letter of intent and printing resumes. Enough of this, I should go to sleep now. It'll be a long day later.